Its Our Anniversary: 3 Things first year of Marriage taught me!

by - May 10, 2017

And just like that, we have been in this marriage game for a year lol. No but seriously how does time just keep flying by though? I swear it feels just like yesterday when I was standing in our Westin Hotel room looking out at the crazy dark clouds that were forming outside on the day of our wedding and now a year later another little human has been added to the crew and I am trying to figure out what we will be eating for dinner, yes quite a bit has changed in a year. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, the other day while doing my nightly breastfeeding I got to thinking about this past year of being a wife and I realized truly everyday has been a learning experience, so I thought I would share the few key things this past year has taught me.

  • If you bottle it up, you end up losing: This was very hard for me the first few months of our marriage its very hard for me to express myself because I don't want to be a bother to others, so I would much rather just brush it under the rug. But in my case, brushing it under the rug just means we push it way back in and then I end up just resenting you every time you do that thing. But clearly being married to someone and planning to spend the rest of my life with them, its not really easy to just resent and be angry with him so I had to learn to speak up right when something doesn't seat well with me. Marriage is majorly about communication!
  • Fighting Right and fair: I remember when we went through marriage counselling, the pastor had talked to us about fighting right and fight fair. I think at that time I didn't quite understand what he was getting at, well I learnt that I definitely don't fight fair. In part it had to do with not really speaking up and so when you bottle things up for so long you blow up and then you end up blowing up to someone who has no idea what they have done because you haven't communicated that with them. I still am working on this, and I am sure it will continue to be a work in progress but I think the fact that I am aware I do this is a step in the right direction. 
  • The reality of marriage: Not gonna lie before getting married I always had my own idea of what marriage is and I am gonna tell you that was all a big pile of B.S lol. Thanks to social media and just the world we live in, the idea of the wedding is sold on a bed of roses, but marriage isn't really praised. This first year of marriage has opened my eye to the reality of just that, coming from a long distance relationship to being a married couple there has been quite a bit of adjusting we have had to endure and also moving out of that idea of me and you to now us.

Marriage is definitely not easy and everyday is constantly bringing your A+ game to make it work past just the surface. Each day we continue to learn more about each other, and our lives also continues to grow. Not sure what the next years will bring but I am sure there are plenty more lessons to be learnt. 

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