Alot .Of. Tola

When you become a mom, one of the top things you worry about is who you can trust to leave your child around. Especially for working moms who sometimes have to head back to work as early as 6 weeks after having a baby, so I wanted to share a few tips to be able to pin point the perfect daycare or child care option that will work best for you and your family.

• Know what all your options are, with child care these days there are endless options from a live in nanny,to drop in care to a traditional day care, Montessori, or just a baby sitter. The selection is so vast that there is an option for anyone out there. Research what each option has to offer, how does that fit with your family core values. Look into cost, how does that fit within your budget, location just how far is the location from you that will play a factor especially if need to drop off and head to work. Also ask questions to friends, and thorough online research can really give you a lot to start with, always remember google is your friend!
• Once you narrow your options down, then Plan visits to the location. Its so important than you not only use the word of mouth referrals but also go in and get a good view of where you will potentially be leaving your child. Ask all the relevant questions such as daycare policies (ex: sick day policy, nap time, feeding etc) Use this visit to pay close attention to how the caregivers interact with the kids, as well as class sizes. 
• Consistency, be sure to make sure the nanny you are picking is providing at least a year of commitment. And if you are choosing a facility, then be sure to make sure the teacher in the classroom has been working at the daycare for awhile and also what turn over rates are like in the facility. Research shows that babies need consistency because it helps them form a secure attachment with their caregiver. 
• Ask Questions!!! You can never ask enough questions. It makes the most sense to make a private interview with either the nanny or the director of the facility you intend to drop your child with, and have a few sets of questions written down to ask and get clarification on. (DOWNLOAD MY CHILD CARE QUESTIONNAIRE BELOW)
• Most importantly go with your gut instinct, if something doesn't seat well with you then always go with that and don't hire someone just for that reason. 

Just like that the school year is over, and its time for all the summer fun. If you are like me, with school aged kids this is sort of bitter sweet time. For one you get to sleep in a bit in the mornings again but, on the flip side now you gotta keep them entertained. And if your child is anything like mine, who is a total busy bee then you are gonna need to keep the next 3 months completely jam packed so here are a few simple and not so expensive ways to keep them busy.

• Your local library will be pretty lit for the summer, I feel like everyone tends to forget about what a hidden gem the public library truly is. During the summer months, there are so many activities for the kids at any age, and its also educational so its a win-win situation.
• Summer Camps I know around our area there are a ton of day  and away camps for kids from as low as 3 years old to high school age and there literally is something for everyone with different interests. From sports, music, science to arts & crafts, whatever your child has an interest there is an opportunity for them.We will be checking out the Dallas Cowboys Camp this year, Simi is constantly performing and dancing so this will be a perfect camp for her to burn off all that energy. 
• Local Trips to amazing local sights like the zoo or museum, I know with the summer months most of these locations are running a ton of specials and even have fun little daily activities for the kids to come in and learn and explore. 
• Amusement Parks!!! These will always be a good summer break idea any day. A perfect one stop shop amusement park is Great Wolf Lodge, the water park was honestly a hit with the girls and tired them out so much. Check out their summer camp in program. 
• Trips! Traveling was always my most favorite memory when I was a child being able to go home and back to school at the beginning of the school year and sharing all the amazing adventures from my trip was so good to relive. So even if you are not able to plan a big international tip, I am sure there are plenty of places within driving distance if time or money doesn't permit for that. A stay-cation can be just as memorable, I know just within the state of TX there are so many places I plan to slowly start exploring with the family. 

• Support is what fuels this unpaid job, having people that are checking in, helping to step in and carry the weight when you need a little break. Good support for moms makes things a lot easier, having people you can call on either to ask for assistance or just to vent will make the burden a lot less heavy. 
• Support system is the village that carries you in motherhood, those are the people who uplift you and help in sowing into your kids. I think back to my childhood, having my grandparents active in our lives made a world of a difference especially with the extra help they were for my mom. Stepping in for carpools and just a sound board and voice of reason. 
• Motherhood can be quite a lonely journey in part because of how it hits you, there is no script or grade that  tells your if you are doing things right or wrong but, that's where support system comes in to lift you. A good support system will ease off the overwhelming feeling. 

Your Post baby body can never go back to what it was before children, no matter how in shape you are there are changes that will forever be a part of you whether that be the new stretch marks you are are spotting now, or that oh so wonderful mommy pooch or those sexy new curves that comes with that beautiful new baby. Whatever it is that you are spotting now, as women especially as mother's this is something society needs to talk about and help us to understand and own it.
So many mother's after having a baby are feeling the rush and a lot of times the unspoken pressure to have "the snap-back", the idea that you are suppose to birth a child that can range from 6 to 10 pounds at full term, and by the following month you need to be "snatched" and back to having wash board abs is just a very crazy ideology that I believe society needs to do away with.


I would like to instead gear the conversation to a mother's mental health after baby, too many women have babies and not a lot of people are asking her how she is doing. No I am not talking about how the baby is fed or how she is getting sleep. No I am talking about checking on her, having conversations with new moms and sometimes old moms as well cause lets be honest a woman could have kids for 5 or 6 years and still dealing the residues of that reality and adjusting to each phase that comes along.

We need to focus more on helping mothers not only feel confident in their body, but in their new normal. I can't tell you how many times I have skipped out on going to a restaurant because of the fear of being judged when my toddler decides to have an uncalled for tantrum. I know I was once one of those judgy eyes, but that is in part to the narrative society has set around kids. The minute you see a mother with a little child, everyone wants to run far away. People see a mother with a screaming baby in tow walking through an airport and very rarely does someone stop to assist. I would love if the narrative focused on building communities around moms, supporting them and checking on them.
Life as a mom especially as a young mom who has a lot on her plate can be daunting, mother's need to feel good, need to be able to focus on the blessings that this new chapter will bring about. And rather than focusing on the physical things like their body and wanting to set these sometimes unrealistic goals to achieve the "snap-back" by hurrying back in the gym, society needs to really shift the narrative to making sure mom are doing good, they are feeling confident about this new role and most importantly they have the right resources and support system in place.

Going back to work after having a baby is one of the hardest parts of motherhood, you feel like you are doing your baby a disservice and not giving them your all. Its weird because even though this is my second time around you would think dropping off the baby at daycare and heading to work would be a total breeze but honestly it feels like it never really gets easier mommy guilt seems to stay fresh and always creeping in. No matter how much you love your job or how much you need the money, going back to work full time and being a full time mom will be very hard to balance but its not impossible.
Being mentally prepared is number one, I think the idea of going back to work is easier said than actually done. So being mentally prepared isn't just about saying OK I am ready to get back to work cause lets be real you can say you are ready to go back but once you start your day to day it will hit you hard. Being mentally prepared in the sense that you are being realistic of the fact that you will be missing a lot now. For me, my life went from full time being home with the girls getting to be able to volunteer at Simi's school and fully present in every way to now still being present but having to miss certain things because well some days work mom duty calls.


Making sure your game plan is in tack, I am gonna be honest I am the absolute worse with organization and making sure all my ducks are in a row, but knowing that most of the week day me and my kids will be spending it away from our home I had to make sure I had some what of a solid plan. Researching the best daycare and after school care was priority on my list. And then making sure to have a solid back up plan and even a back up plan for your back up is so necessary. I mean you can't help things happening like kids getting sick or just life happening in general, but as long you stay ahead of it you can some what help the transition of being back to work and not being around as much as you usually are go as smoothly as possible.
Work Life Balance is Key!!!  When you become a mom your life is very much about this new baby and being the very best mother you can be for this new child. But just because you are a mom now doesn't mean you give up your life and goals so I totally support a working mom that wants to get out of the house and work on her goals and purpose but you have to realize that you need to balance that as well. You have to give yourself deadlines, and be strict with your time. Be vigilant and know that you have to give of yourself in little doses so you don't over stretch and over work yourself.
Its going to be an adjustment and might take some time to feel (or maybe you will never) feel like you have it all in control but my advice to working moms is just to be ahead of things, planning and maybe even over-planning. And have a solid support of people that you can go to both at work and at home, most importantly just know you are doing this because its the best for your family and for yourself!

Simi turned six years old about two weeks ago, and I am honestly still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have a whole 6 year old child I can't even deal. But also with her birthday being in January, it can be kind of hard planning fun birthday parties because well she was born in the middle of winter and all the crappy weather. Well this year I kept going back and forth about what to do for her birthday, and since she actually had a count down going I felt even more obligated to make it a memorable birthday. Planning kids birthday parties can be so much especially when you have a critical child like mine, who has opinions on everything (she is a hand full lol)  so I wanted to share a few tips to make planning kid's birthday party  successful.

• Location, Location, Location!!! Picking the right location for a birthday party is really what will make or break the party. You want a location that either has a built in package, some places have packages with foods and all the fun included or if it doesn't have a built in package it has tons of options to keep the kids busy. We were able to celebrate Simi's birthday at Epic Waters and there were so many endless possibilities from the fun to food. From the different water rides, to the fully stocked arcade space, we had so many different ways to keep the girls busy. Also the amazing part of Epic Waters, they have the option to rent a birthday room and you can build your package to your need and want. 

• Find a way to involve the parents and adults in the fun as well. So many times when we plan birthday parties, we focus so much on making it fun and amazing for the kids, which that should be priority but we also tend to forget the adults that will be bringing those kids to the party. So When planning either incorporate fun activities that can be entertaining for the adults or find a location that has a way to keep the parents entertained too. Which was one of the reason why Epic Waters was not only amazing for Simi and Temi, but my husband and I had just as much fun as the girls. We literally spent the entire day at the water park and it had something that was interesting for the entire family. My personal favorite ride was the lazy river (The Rio Grand), the perfect place to relax and recharge from all the excitement with the girls. 
• Most importantly just make sure the celebrant has a great time, one thing I have learnt in being a mom to little girls you could throw the most amazing birthday party but if your toddler doesn't have a good time then that party just sucks. Make sure they get to do all the fun things they are interested for that day. Simi was a big fan of the water slides, and I can't tell you how many times she went down that thing I even got exhausted from watching. But it was her day and we were going to do whatever she liked to keep her busy and the day as fun as possible