Alot .Of. Tola

One of the biggest struggle as a new mom is feeling overwhelmed, your life has suddenly gone from you and your husband to now being on call to this little human being and learning how to take care of them properly while but still making time for your husband and making your marriage a priority, its quite a struggle honestly and can put quite a strain on your relationship. I remember after  I had Temi, my body went through quite a lot I felt so much like I wasn't myself anymore, on top of that I had a toddler to care for and I still had to make my husband and marriage a priority, every day I would feel so helpless and just felt like I was being pulled a million different places and I saw it affecting my relationship with my husband majorly, but it doesn't have to be that way and even just the littlest things will make your marriage thrive no matter how many babies come along and make your bond even stronger than before.

• Include him, I know once kids come around especially in those early stages its very easy to get caught up in doing for the baby you kind of schedule things around the little one and before you know it your life is all kids and you and your husband are just an extras. So just learning to include him in things, makes him feel like his still number one and honestly its extra help for you as well.
• Make time for each other everyday, this might involve putting the little(s)  one to bed on time, or even you staying up a little later just to be able to talk and spend some quality time with each other and not have all the noise of the kids. Sometimes it just takes a little sacrifice but its very worth while. 
• Be spontaneous, be willing to go off script sometimes and plan mid day dates or just something fun and unexpected for both of you. 
• Communicate with him constantly life can be busy as a mom especially as a new mom, so let him understand the emotions you are dealing with, so he can be more sympathetic and know where he can assist as well. 

I remember when I first had Simi, I felt like my life went from straight chilling to where do I start from now. It was stressful and scary, and honestly even the second time around I still felt very similar emotions and feelings. Thankful I had all the help in the world, but guess what eventually everyone had to go on with their lives and I was left to be mom by myself and the reality of it all set in. I have learnt that you don't have to feel this way and there are so many ways to curb that feeling or help ease the feeling of overwhelm.

• REST!!!!! its funny as a mom in general rest is easier said than actually done but, as a new mom it is even harder. You are so focused on doing so much and trying to learn so much all at once the idea of rest can easily be forgotten and when I say rest I don't necessarily mean sleep I just mean actually rest taking some time to just relax and have a breather. Its completely okay to let the house be a mess, or to just lay around with baby for a couple of hour as a new mom you are allowed. Some people are lucky to have help with baby and some aren't but whatever your situation just rest, take moments to breathe and just relax. 
• Step out of the house, taking some time out of the comfort of your house whether just around the block for a walk or even to the store can do a lot to reset you. In between being a feeding machine and listening to crying baby, you can easily lose our mind and before you know it you start feeling those crazy emotions so if you feel yourself feeling some type of way just step out of the house, take a walk with the baby and if you are lucky to have someone helping you with baby then take that little time to just get a breather by yourself. 
• Ask your partner for help, thankfully we are in a day and age when parenting is more than just the mom's job and most partners are more than willing to step up and do more than enough to make the transition a lot easier. But sometimes as moms we get stuck on trying to learn it all and do it all, we tend to forget to ask for help and then before you know it you are pissed at your partner  we feel like his getting a free ride. So more than ever ask for help, I would even say be as blatant and direct when you need help because no one will know when you are feeling overwhelmed. 

• Have a go to person, whether that be a group of mommy friends you can go to to vent and ask for advice, your mom, sister or your partner but have a person that you can go to who understands and will let you just spill out. Honestly having that person that you can cry to when there are just days you are about to lose your cool will make a world of a difference. 
• Have something you can call your own outside of motherhood, that could be an exercise class you get to go to or a hobby where you can escape it lets you feel like yourself again before baby and its your thing. With running around being a mom all day its always nice having something you can get to call your own even if its just for one hour out of the day.