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How to deal with mommy guilt

by - July 02, 2018

Mommy guilt is very real and if you don't learn how to handle it, can very much be consumed by it. Having two little ones now it almost feels like I am not being enough for both girls and my husband and then myself. Its funny after I had Temi I was like thank God the girls are not so close in age, so I won't feel so guilty cause Simi can do most things for herself. But the reality is I have felt even more guilt for one Temi is extremely needing, I think the fact that I was home with her most of her first year so she literally is just attached, always wanting me to carry her and then there are just all those things she can't do for herself and needs me for. And then there is Simi who is older, and can do most things for herself but she is also at that age where she is becoming her own person and needs that guardian to keep her on the right track and the added bonus of her being able to talk and letting me know when I am being a crappy mommy doesn't help my guilt lol. Thankfully I am learning how to give both girls the love they deserve and do my best as a young mom.

  • I am realizing that being away or having to give less of myself sometimes is just so I can be the best mom to them. Whether that be due to working outside of the home, or taking some much needed me time. I remember when I had to go back to work 3 months after having Simi, I felt so bad that I had to go drop my little baby at daycare, every single day just broke my heart but at the end of the day it was in her best interest I did it. 
  • Understanding that Feeling guilt is OK, it just means I am human and have emotions that I react with, but most importantly just not letting those emotions consume me or get worse.
  • Asking for help, especially with having two little ones now I want to make sure both girls feel loved and I don't also feel overwhelmed trying to juggle both and do for both, so asking for help with your spouse, family members or getting a nanny or sitter to come in and help so the load isn't so much. 
I am not sure as the kids get older feeling guilty about certain choices will become easier, but I do hope I will feel more comfortable making certain choices and having to miss out on certain things. Let me know in the comments your thoughts and how you deal with mommy guilt?

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  1. mom guilt is hard to deal with no matter who you are.

  2. Mom guilt is definitely a thing, and it's important to recognize it's normal! Great tips.

  3. I used to have mommy guilt a lot. Guilt when I was working and felt like I was not spending enough time with my kids. Guilt from not working and I felt like I was not keeping them social enough. I learned kids want quality time and love. As long as you give them those those two things, they will be ok. You will too.

  4. I can definitely relate to this especially with baby # 3 on the way, but we are doing our best and our own worst critics for sure. We are so loved by our family!!

  5. Kristine Nicole AlessandraJuly 08, 2018

    I had to leave my kids for two years when I took on an overseas job. That airport scene crushed my heart to pieces. Two long years, alone, far from my family was the saddest, most guilt-ridden years of my life. I kept asking myself, "I left them to earn more money? Was it worth it?" But then I knew my mom was always looking after them and it gave me some comfort. I vowed never to do that again, and that I will stay put. How did I handle those guilt feelings? I kept constant communication with them - calls, texts, email. I kept reminding my kids that I will be back and that I was saving for their future, for their college education, so that none of them would have to go through the same ordeal of leaving their families just to earn money.